Loving Your Body – Fresh Perspectives

Hey darlings. How are you today? I hope you feel ready to have a little (actually huge) deep-talk with me? I’ve been having internal conversations with myself about this recently. And as always, bouncing ideas, thoughts and reflections with Lauren. The most amazing listener EVER. Wait! Before you start, maybe go get yourself a cup of tea or a big ice-water with lemon. Or what the heck ever your body is craving right now. Just suggesting a little refresher because we’re going deep here. 

And wait! Again. Before we continue, close your eyes and imagine that you’re getting a big, comforting hug from us. Ok, here we go.

We always hear the phrase “loving your body” and in the past that phrase has caused me to squirm inside. How do I love my body? How can I love it when I don’t think it’s perfect? When I see the flaws so well? When I see the ads telling me what bodies “should” look like according to (unrealistic) societal ideals? And what does it EVEN MEAN to love my body? 

Sounds familiar? Yes? Perfect. Let’s chat about this for a bit. It’s crucial life stuff. 

Most of the time when someone talks about “loving your body,” they’re referring to how happy or unhappy you feel with your weight. But there are SO many levels and layers of loving your body. We won’t pretend weight isn’t one of them – but – man, that is such a limited view.

• What about someone who is dealing with a debilitating illness who must regain trust in a body that feels it has turned against them?
• What about the non-binary person searching for a body that feels like an honest outer expression of who they are inside?
• What about the millions of women who struggle with menstrual pain and hormonal issues, who feel like their menstrual cycle is a monthly battle? 
• Or the woman going through menopause who face cultural messages that her worth is diminished if her body is no longer fertile?
• What about our journey to love for our bodies through personal style, not only as a way to feel good about ourselves, but as an expression of gender, emotions, essence, history, and humanity, sometimes even as a political act?
• What about someone struggling to love their ethnic identity despite suffering prejudice, bullying, or violence because of the color of their skin?
• What about someone who has lost use of their feet or legs, their hands or arms? What is that person’s journey to loving their body?

It’s dismissive of someone’s struggle to say, “Be grateful for the body you’ve got!” as much as that is true. Loving your body takes on many stories, shapes, shades, and forms. And if you feel that “loving your body” is a struggle for whatever reason, we’re not here to dismiss your struggle or tell you that you’re wrong in doing so. Instead, we want to offer a few more levels and perspectives on this subject. 

So let’s talk about the true magic. Call it what you like – heart, soul, spirit, essence, mind, personality – YOU are a miraculous, unique being living inside your human body. While you can change your body in endless ways from exercising to gender reassignment to finally trying bangs at your next haircut, the body you’re currently living in is your shell. And our shells, whatever we’ve got – is simply what we’ve got. So whether you love your shell or are struggling to accept it,  just remember that the true magic you carry, is what happens inside of your human, physical shell. 

Personally, I think my shell is important, even though it’s NOTHING compared to what lives inside of me.  But I want to share an example of how I practice honoring myself and my physical body each day. Every morning, I have a ritual where I start with a big glass of water. Then I do my facial routine. I make coffee. I put on my favorite radio show on P1, while I enjoy my coffee and take my time applying makeup and doing my hair. This slow, and thorough getting-ready ritual is very important for me. Not because I love makeup or that I’m shallow. But because it feels like I’m giving myself the best chances of feeling glowy and ready for the day. And that simply feels AMAZING.

So now we’ve established that there are many different types of struggles one can go through in “loving your body” and many levels of it, too. Now let’s take it one step further and talk about what happens when our body is changing its needs, or how it looks and feels. Because, truth bomb: we change ALL the time. And how do we love our bodies when they’re constantly changing?

For Lauren and I, a big part of loving our bodies has become embracing seasonal living practices. That way, we consciously move through our menstrual cycles and honor any signals or symptoms our bodies show us, like going to sleep earlier when our bodies call for it. Or eating more salt or protein when we feel like our bodies need it. Through the menstrual cycle, we change EVERY day, not just during our bleeding week. So we have to give ourselves permission to love and care for our bodies in whatever way they’re asking for at this specific moment. Each time we honor our bodies, even in a small way, we build trust which leads us to greater love and adoration for all that our bodies allow us to do and experience. I also quickly want to point out that it’s not just cyclical people that are changing. Our cells regenerate every night and you wake up in a new version of you every morning. How freaking cool is that?

This concept might sound hard or complex to you, but it’s actually easy. It’s all about PERMISSION. Give your body permission to change. Accept and honor that your body will look and act differently depending on where you are in your life, season or cycle. Permission to accept. Permission to say “ok lovely, hard working body! I hear you. You’re grumpy and hungry, and I will stay in tonight and fill you up with nutritious food and go to bed super duper early!” or something similar. Or perhaps you’ve planned to wear those awesome striped pants to a party next weekend. You put them on and realize that there’s no way you’ll be able to button them up “Ok, body. I know you’re doing your very best, and I’m sorry that I haven’t taken the time to do my morning walks lately. Thanks for hanging in there, love”… In what way do you work to accept and allow your body to change? Exploring the concept of permission has also helped us gain a lot of love and appreciation for our bodies, so that we feel more empowered to reject other people’s ideas of what bodies should look like and how they should behave.

So, you see the point here? Loving our bodies, have many different levels to it and many different challenges. It’s so far from just weight or size. And! On top of that, our bodies are in constant change. If you are anything like us, you have also experienced that truly loving your body can be very hard. But here we are on this lovely Sunday, at least discussing it together! Trying to understand ourselves, our bodies and trying on different glasses to examine this complex subject. On behalf of your body, I want to thank you for doing so with such ease and kindness.

Lastly, before I start wrapping up our deep talk this Sunday, I want to offer another way of switching perspective on “loving your body”. 

Sometimes I look at my legs. They are far from perfect. Cellulitis, mosquitos bite scars, stretch marks. All of it. But I look at them and I thank them for taking me places. For walking my body into different experiences of life. I thank them for holding me and for trying their best. Always. I look at my stomach. And I picture all that I’m putting in it. French fries, beer, candy (Swedish, of course!) and a bunch of other unhealthy things that unfortunately are SO tasty! I just feel this immense love for my stomach trying to handle it all. Trying to pick up all the good stuff and sort out and compost what my body doesn’t need. All the activity going on 24/7 in my superwoman stomach. I practice this reframe often. Instead of trying to love my body because of how it looks, I practice gratitude, love and care for all that my body is able to do for me and my life. 

So over to you now, love. Take a few minutes and think about this. Finding north on the compass of body love looks something like answering the question: “What would make me feel really good in my body right now?”

Knowing that the answer is different for every person.

Knowing that the answer will change every day.

Knowing that the answer can be really simple.

Knowing that just like with loving people, you don’t have to feel like you love your body all the time for that to be true.

Even if you think other people will judge you for what you order in a restaurant, what time you leave the party, your new outfit, your new hairstyle, or your particular size and shape, YOU are the one living in your body, not them. And only you can answer that question for yourself.

So now we turn it over to you: what would make you feel really good in your body right now?

And hey, let’s do a bonus: answer that question through action today! 

Love, 

Lisa (& Lauren)